Monday, November 24, 2008

Dreaming "I" and Its Attachments ~ Katie Davis, Author, Awake Joy

The dreaming "I" or "I" thought is like any other word. Words only represents things that they point to. We have assumed that this word has been pointing to our body and therefore believe that I = body. However, when we awaken, we realize that this first, primary assumption is actually false. There is something unfathomable here that we are overlooking. The word “I” is of course pointing to the body, but is it also pointing to something deeper within the inner body that is radically more?

When we accept this mental concept “I” that is limited to the body, our living experience is limited to a superficial, mental realm. We believe in this limitation and few have actually directly investigated this assumption to discover the truth. When we misidentify with a mental modification of what I call Pure I, our life is living in separation and it is the source of all sorrow. In addition, the misidentification drops a veil and prevents our discovery of who we really are in the deepest sense.

Those seeking enlightenment or Self-realization must first discover the falsehood of this most unfortunate misidentification. When we seek the “I” thought, it disappears. This lifts the veil that is blocking access to the divine dimension within.

We can define the word I that is the body in many ways, such as “I am a mother. I am a daughter. I am an author.” These descriptions are not saying who “I” is. If you investigate for yourself and find that since “you” are AWARE of the body, who you are must be beyond your form. Who is that who is aware? Who are you in the deepest sense? These questions signify the beginning steps toward enlightenment and Self-realization. Are you curious enough to want to realize the Truth?

Self-realization is the end of psychological suffering since it is the end of the psychological self. The old way to deal with misery was to try to manipulate or modify the emotion or thoughts. The new way eliminates the cause; the psychological self or “I” thought. In this, we discover that there is no thinker of thoughts, no performer of actions and we live free from the awareness of an individual self that is separate.

The body is still there with all of its beautiful inborn talents and traits, but the idea of “me” and all of its past and future fixations are finished. We are freed of the problematic psychology of the ego and free of its constant sense of threat.
Inside, there is the stillness and quietude that we genuinely are and in the world of form, our body is there accessing this ultimate creativity. A sense of giving all the love away and selfless service comes to the forefront.

When we give up this relationship with “myself,” we are at one as Life, whether with form or without. The Totality is the pure still awareness and its power, the appearance of the universe. After a lifetime of toil, it is amazing to discover that it is all happening by itself with such beauty, harmony and peace. We have only to get out of the way to consciously realize who we actually are.

When the “I” thought arises it does so to attach to things and objects it desires. “I want that new car. I believe that this is the right way. I need this to be happy.” These attachments take on a mental journey and we get lost in the mental world of form.

There will never be true and lasting fulfillment gained through attachments, no matter how many things, objects and people you attain or gather together. There will always be something more lacking.

That lack is inherent in the idea of being only a fraction of the Totality that is functioning independently from the whole. The lack truly has nothing to do with the lack of attachments that we hope to attain in order to feel whole and happy.

The lack is what is occurring prior to the arrival of the attachments; misidentification with the “I” thought and its individual desires. The entire search for happiness by the psychological self is actually a search for wholeness and fulfillment. Enlightenment is this ultimate fulfillment. In fact, a synonym for realization is fulfillment.

If you will silently watch and notice what is actually happening, you will be able to trace back every attachment to the original attachment to the “I” thought. Instead of trying to let go of attachments, let go the one who they all belong to … the dreaming “I” that is the ego-body. Self-inquiry removes this first person pronoun of suffering and all of the attachments fall like a wall of sand.

If you will hold onto “I am” and be free of “I am this” or “I am that,” the ego I will disappear and you will have a direct experience of the true Self. The “I” thought originates from the Heart that is within, so when it disappears … that is, go back where the thought came from … you will have a direct experience of peace. This will be a temporary, fleeting experience until one realizes that all objects are untrue as Self identity.

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Billy E. Cole said...

Katie I have been on a 10 mission, every day I try to go through that day and not use the word "I" when I write something or communicate with someone. Am I really that self centered?

Katie Davis, Author, Awake Joy said...

Thank you for sharing, Billy. I am smiling while I am writing here. I am reminded of a quote by Wei Wu Wei, "Why are you unhappy? Because 99.9% of everything that you say and everything that you do is for yourself ... and there isn't one!" :-)

It is impossible to be "self" centered ... we are SELF centered. Rather, there is only the Self. Billy is there of course but inseparable from the Totality that he genuinely is.

The word "I" is always speaking, just as you say. We use the word all day long for communication. It is just that it is pointing to something profoundly deeply as you know or you would not be on this mission. :-)

Thank you again for the comment. It is nice to meet you here. ~ Katie