True Forgiveness is Being Now
By Katie Davis, Author, "Awake Joy"
The ego is the false sense of self that bases its self-image on time. It forms concepts about itself and so called "others" that are all based on past experiences. According to these past life circumstances, it then forms its likes and dislikes. In so doing, the ego is creating its desires and fears. These desires and fears then form its attitudes, beliefs, assumptions, intentions, expectations, opinions, judgments and its overall conditioning; all of which require more time. In turn, the ego then forms its concept of self based upon its success in either getting what it wants or avoiding what it fears.
Some refer to this false concept of self as the conditioned personality. It is this psychological structure that is the source of all sorrow and misery. Ego needs time and its story in order to form its false concept of self. Without its story, it is clearly seen that ego is unreal and does not even exist.
The older the ego becomes, the more past it is carrying. The burden becomes heavier and heavier with less and less time for future hope. If the pain of the past becomes too heavy to bear, it is common for the concept of forgiveness to come to the forefront. Exhausted by the past pain and by trying to perpetuate further separation through blaming others, the ego begins surrendering and letting go of its past stories.
Since forgiveness requires "inner" work, the opportunity of spiritual awakening may be drawing near. Through this inner focus and self-observation, the ego becomes aware of its fears, lost hopes, anger, bitterness, regrets, sadness, resentments, shame and guilt. For the older ego, the list of stories seems endless and it might even seem altogether hopeless.
It is finally seen that it cannot keep its painful story and get rid of the pain. As the past stories are surrendered, the burden becomes lighter. Slowly, it is freeing itself from time. Presence begins emerging and it appreciates the present moment experience as something fresh and no longer shadowed by the past.
With the good fortune of self-observation, attention finally begins noticing that it is the storyteller and not the story that is perpetuating the pain. We begin inquiring who this storyteller really is and whether this concept of "I" is even valid in the first place. We finally realize that the concept of "I" is nothing more than another idea to which we add many good and unfortunate stories that condition us and therefore limit us. If we are willing to surrender this false concept of "I" that is the storyteller, all of the accumulated stories fall away with it.
In identification with dreaming "I," forgiveness sometimes remains only a mental concept. In other words, the ego might be relatively willing to conceptually forgive within the mind, but absolute forgiveness might elude the heart. By relinquishing the personal self-image, we transform the concept of forgiveness into the freedom of the heart that is unconditional love and perfect peace.
Then through presence, we maintain the openness of our inner space moment to moment. True forgiveness has no external requirement, which means it depends upon no one. It has nothing to do with any so called other and remains free of the accompanying story-time. Real forgiveness is the power of timelessness within us that is already free of personal history. Where is the past in the here and now?
When we are free of the concept of forgiveness, we are living free. This is not an optimist's hope for the future. It is readily accessible for every human being right now and only now. The problem, so to speak, is not the insanity of a multitude of personal, family and world problems. The problem is the insanity in the delusion of time, the idea of separation that begins with the concept of "me," and its repetitive storyteller. This in turn facilitates the runaway madness of the unawake mind.
Free of the ego, we are able to greet every moment authentically and compassionately. Free of time, we are free of the stories that bond us to negativity and suffering. Being Now, we realize that we have always been free.
♥
Katie Davis Website
(Free videos on Non-duality, Advaita, spiritual awakening, enlightenment and Self-realization. Free downloads of e-books and chapters. Join our mailing list to receive the Friends of the Heart Newsletter once a month with more free articles and event information.)
