Who Is Weary? I Am. Who am I? ~ Dialogues with Katie Davis

Question:

I am calling because I feel tired and weary. I just don't think that I am ever going to get it! I keep getting carried away by these emotional dramas and it is exhausting. I have been on this path a long time and I am totally frustrated!

Katie:

I suppose that we could begin by being Quiet …

I would like you to take a moment and just close your eyes. No effort, just relaxing, just simply being. Observe how delicate the air feels as it effortlessly and naturally comes and goes through your nose ...

Notice the aliveness within the body. Go ahead, could you notice that now?

(silence)

Now, take a look around the room you are sitting in ...

Are you noticing the space in the room, listening to the space ... the silence. Listen with every cell of your body.

(long pause)

While I am speaking, I would like you to simply be aware of your breathing. Is it possible to just be the silence and spaciousness through which these words flow? Being silence, can we allow these live words to rise and simply welcome them back to the silence ... dropping back into who we are. In other words, we honor the Quiet, the stillness, that we are. We have no identification or attachment with our thoughts or concepts. Do you see?

Question:

This is like a meditation ... except you are speaking ...

Katie:

Yes, we are in meditation; listening and noticing; just allowing the movenment of words while remaining quiet and still ...

There are many, many pathways that ascend this mountain to spiritual realization, but we are all traversing the same mountain. At the summit, we are left with one remaining essential question, “Who am I?”

(silence)

When you first called, you said, "I am tired and weary." Who is that? Who are you when you say that? Remember, you are just breathing and conscious now of the words as you speak ... still a meditation.

Question:

... well, that was the ego ... I see that now ... and it is the body that is tired ...

Katie:

So the way that you are saying that, you are aware that you are not the body? I noticed that you did not say "my" body.

Question:

Right now, I am totally aware that I am not the body. I am ...

Katie:

When you say "I am," who is that? Will you ask this question, "Who am I?" You are still aware of your breathing and just ask this question. We are not looking for a mental reply, meaning another thought in replay ... such as the word "I." Relaxed and just noticing, watching, breathing, ask "Who am I?"

(long silence) ... and then barely audible, "calm peace."

Katie:

This calm peace is consistently everywhere that you are. In fact, you are this perfect peace. When we get lost in "doing" we tend to fall unconscious of thought. In this, we identify with thoughts without being conscious of the fact and suddenly, we find the body tired and weary. This weariness is from identification with thought, not the circumstances in the life situation. Do you see this? Misidentification with compulsive thought is tiresome and it makes the body feel weary.

The thought itself is not problematic. It is just another powerless thought ... a meditation. However, when we are not present, when we forget that we are always in meditation, then we suffer.

Even that is not problematic. Sooner or later, you notice the unease. Then, it is time to do the work. How difficult is it to just ask the question, "Who is weary?" The answer will always be the "I" that thinks that it is the ego-body. The correct answer then is "I am." Then, one step further, doing the work, you ask, "Who am I?" ... and you are back as perfect peace.

Instead, many times, we fall into storyline. Instead of doing the work, the "ego" judges and thinks, "I am never going to get it!"

Who? ... Then, Who am I?

Writings, dialogues, free awakening videos and Katie's Blog (Awake by Katie) accessible at:

www.KatieDavis.org