Over Thinking, the Primary Addiction by Katie Davis

Question:

I am an alcoholic and I have been in AA and back to recovery a few times. My family doesn't know it, but I am hiding what I am doing now. I feel so much shame and guilt. By chance, I came upon you and I am wondering if there is anything that you might suggest. Nothing has worked. I just feel so guilty and my mind is driving me crazy.

Katie:

First, I am not a recovery specialist, nor a psychologist. It is perfectly appropriate for you to return to your specialist and if you have not tried therapy, that will indeed support you within the individual identity and its story.

People usually come upon this teaching, when they are suffering and most everything has failed. Either that or they have a deep longing for the Divine or been blessed with a single instant, when they have been shaken out of the mind and its time. Perhaps, for whatever reason, you are ready to inquire more deeply into the Truth of your being. This is why we meet. Yes, addiction is of the body-mind, but there is something deeper here, right now, within you. Its discovery is the resolution of all psychological suffering. I must point that the primary addiction is compulsive thought. That is, over-thinking.

Ultimately, you are the only true answer. The past is nothing but a graveyard, let it go. Of course, we have our very endearing moments of relative happiness and then they just disappear. We are left by ourselves … or with more people that we can hardly bear … and then suffer. This is the reality of the time-based mind, its problems and endless conflicts.

The problem seems to be that people search in a horizontal manner to find some sort of happiness. They try work and it works for a little while, since the desire for work has ceased. We look for happiness in relationships and then we get one. Desire stops and we seem happy for awhile then discontentment resurfaces. Try virtually anything within in the field of every day experience meaning every person, every circumstance, every situation or activity that we THINK is going to make us happy and we find it works for a time and then once again it was only fleeting.

It is never the object that has been attained, won, achieved or intended that causes happiness … let’s call it joy, since it is deeper, caused by nothing, in need of nothing, and virtually permanent. The truth of the matter is, desire ceases, since what we wanted was claimed. Discontentment remerges and we think, “not wrong again!” So it is the lack of desire and not the object that allows true peace.

So, we have searched that way for a lifetime. Think that you have finally got it together … and poof! Then guilt comes creeping in to add more of the same old discontentment, except each time it gets a little deeper and uglier. “What's wrong with those other people!” “What’s wrong with ME?!”

Well, the thing is, you can’t just take my word for it, but it calls for curiosity. You have been conditioned since birth that you are ME and that the ME means that you are a body. Your parents taught you, just like their parents, the whole premise was totally assumed. Is it really true? Well, I never questioned these matters either. I assumed like everyone else. Everything on the ‘outside’ appeared to be perfect. I didn’t even know that I had an ‘inner world’ and inner reality. Without cause, I suddenly awakened to an entire new dimension of reality. Through happenstance alone, I directly witnessed that I was not my body, nor its thoughts, nor the emotional eclipses. Since I became aware of them, I couldn’t be them. I had to be entirely beyond them. Who in the world was that, that was aware of everything?! All of a sudden I was tossed out of a daytime dream reality of the mind to the absolute love and joy of the Heart.

I am not going to suggest that you 'do' anything. Doing is more of the thinking that is the addiction. Any ‘doing’ is only more of the mind. I am going to ask you to stop and begin watching what is really true. If you are searching for joy, you can’t find it … because you ARE joy. It is just like you can’t see your own eyeball and yet it sees. You can’t see joy, the joy that you are.

So the immediate question is then, well, where is it?! How do I find it? Well, you stop all of the escape strategies and all of the salvation ideas. You cannot escape or become what you already are. There is an awareness that is here no matter where you go or what you do. You are aware while you are driving, aware while you are working, aware always. Even while you are nighttime dreaming, you are aware. Well awakening, is really pretty much like waking from a nighttime nightmare, except you wake up even further to the daytime dream of mind. There is nothing unique or for that matter peculiar to realizing that you have spent your entire life DREAMING!!!! The matter of the fact is, awakening is NORMAL! The mind’s idea of living in conflict, identification with the body, suffering … even pleasure … is not normal by any means. When we wake up to the mind and all of its suffering thoughts … we just move into maturing wisdom that is the real nature of the human being.

Mind is tantamount to time. Mind and its thoughts require time and time is equal to suffering. Mind = suffering. Time = suffering. “ME” = suffering.

You have this beautiful awareness within you and its nature is joy. I call it the Heart. The mind-made self (“me”) walks around in a dream and wonders why it is suffering. Well, if you ever said the word “rose” to someone who does not speak English … the word is utterly meaningless. So we have been taught “I” and that “I” is the body. If you are aware of the body … you cannot be the body. So, what is the meaning of this word? If you don’t know that the word "rose" is a lovely flower with a beautiful fragrance and lovely bloom, it just seems like nonsense. Who is “I?” You begin watching within to discover the Truth for yourself. You become curious and decide for yourself to take a look. Not by mental philosophy and concepts. Concepts are only more mind.

You say that your mind is driving you crazy. That is a level of maturing wisdom. Most people still are not even really aware that thought is going on and on and on compulsively. You are aware of your thoughts. Rather than getting up and moving into activity, shift your attention to the awareness of the thoughts. Who is that who is aware? The separate sense of self, the mind made sense of self is like the very bottom layer of a chocolate cake. The bottom layer is “me and my story,” time, I am my mind, I am the body, I am the ego and I AM THE SUFFER. This level of awareness has absolutely no idea that all of the levels above it even exist.

Most people identify with their thoughts. “I feel so guilty.” Those thoughts are like photographs and mental images. It is like looking at the same dull and boring photos over and over again. Through some grace, we finally get sick of them and begin observing who is that who is aware of them.

1. Shift your attention from thought and start observing the awareness. This begins an inward journey and ends in the discovery of an indestructible joy that you will realize that has always been here. (“not me, this is too weird, I can’t do this, surely there must be something else.”) This is the only way out that is truly lasting and the beauty is that it is already here. We just dust off the concepts of the mind and we see that it is simply already radiant.

2. Go buy Eckhart Tolle’s Power of Now, http://www.eckharttolle.com/. The book is masterful at dissecting the concepts of mind, the ego and its idea of time. Can you show me the past? It isn’t here other than a thought. Thought includes mental images (photos of the mind). Events in your life are nothing more than notches on a chronological dateline. Yet, we maintain an emotional relationship with them. Simply, we cannot maintain our painful story and get rid of the pain. Makes sense doesn’t it? Retelling the painful story perpetuates pain.

3. Accept nothing unless you directly look and find it to be true. Even then, it is only true temporarily. Keep observing deeper within you and deeper yet. Each time letting go of old beliefs and assumptions.

And by all means, get the help that is presently required to help you live within the circumstances in a balanced manner. In the end however, you are the only answering.

Katie Davis Website: www.katiedavis.org

Friends of the Heart Free Newsletters by Katie Davis, Sundance Burke

Today, I would like to invite you to visit my Katie Davis Website, since our new Friends of the Heart Newsletter for October is posted. Each month, the newsletter is sent to those who are interested in awakening, Self-inquiry, enlightenment, and Self-realization.

It includes a Katie Davis article and one by Sundance Burke, author of "Free Spirit: A Guide to Enlightened Being."

In addition, we sometimes have articles by other non-dual or awakening teachers, as well as highlights on conscious singer/songwriters, artists and poets that we have enjoyed and perhaps they would interest you as well.

This month's Friends of the Heart Newsletter includes:

"Be Still" by Katie Davis, author of "Awake Joy: The Essence of Enlightenment."

"The Nature of Awakened Being," by Sundance Burke

"Yoga Feels Good," by Meenakshi Angel Honig of Well Being International

A highlight on Kirtana's new Cd release, "Falling Awake."

There is interesting news about our satsang events that are open for registration in Dallas, Sedona, Flagstaff, Boulder, Richmond Hill and Toronto Ontario, and Chicago with Satsang and Satsang Intensives.

If you would like to receive the free newsletter each month, you may sign up at the Katie Davis Website to receive your copy. We only send messages once a month and your information is safe with SafeUnsubscribe.

Enjoy! If you have questions on the articles, please share them here for others too. I will answer in the next Awake by Katie Blog.

Go to Friends of the Heart at http://www.katiedavis.org/friendsoftheheart.html.

You are welcome to pass them along to your Friends of the Heart too.

Katie Davis Website: www.katiedavis.org

Duality, Separation, Non-duality by Katie Davis

A drop of water does not separate to be a part of the ocean, but rather dissolves its partiality. Until it surrenders, it is relatively powerless in comparison to the sea. The separate self is the time-based mind's attempt to separate and it will prove to be futile. Only separation is unattainable. Self-realization is an ease, since it is already complete.

Desire inherently contains its opposite, which is fear. Dual in nature, they depend upon one another. So while we are creating our personal desire, we are also creating poverty, greed, sexual obsession, power over others in the herd, and every form of lack. In other words, when we desire, we are actually saying that we are lacking. Consequently, both seem to be created. That is the way of the dual mind and it points to madness, but at least "I have what I want." Do you? "Probably not, but I will in the future."

If you are acquiring in order to be happier at a future time, ever-present joy will elude you. It is not a future endeavor. It is here now, uncaused and free of every-thing. The dual mind will prove to be ravenous for its desires, as it runs from its fears. Its bottom line will always be "more!" When it finally discovers that its treasures only provide a fleeting happiness, it discovers the root of all its longing, which is the realization of the Heart.

Katie Davis Website: www.katiedavis.org

Seeking Happiness by Katie Davis

Love surrounds us and it originates from the Secret Ocean within you. We do not need to cry out for love while living, in the same manner that the spinner dolphin does not call for more water while swimming. The mind has its idea of perfection and of what it needs to be happy. All the while, we are the very joy that we are seeking.

We are trying to maintain an image of self that is separate, a mere fraction of the whole, and then wonder why we continue to sense lack, after getting what the mind wants. "Maybe that wasn't it," says mastermind, "I'll create something more." It continues to try in vain to complete itself by adding other fractions that will likewise come and go. Conditioned intelligence recreates only the known past. New objects and circumstances may appear, but your end result will be the same.

For Self-realization, "I" dissolves and its desires and fears vanish with it. Love is fearless and the realization of the Unknown Heart is our total fulfillment. Certainly it can be seen that after all of mind's creating and attracting, the separate self will still remain only a fraction, just wait and see. Fulfillment means completion, not a fractional part, and love's completion is the discovery of who you really are.

Katie Davis Website: www.katiedavis.org

The Time Based Ego by Katie Davis - Katie Davis Blog - Awake by Katie Davis

Desire and fear are signatures of the false sense of self ... the ego. As pawn to life, the mind made self constantly perceives that it is under some type of threat, whether conscious or otherwise. It judges circumstances from its fractional point of view, which is embodied as either inferiority or arrogance. The consequence is inner resistance and intrinsically carries the imprint of time.

Its effect flows into life as programmed reaction and worldly conflict. Most of all, it provides more occasions for you and others to suffer. Concurrently, the illsory ego is on phobic guard to neurotically defend or anxiously defend its treasured objects of desire.

Residing in future hope or fear from a past perspective, the separate sense of "me" sabotages the here and now as it hungers for personal gratification. Unfortunately, true fulfillment is not personal and it cannot be realized in the future.

Katie Davis Website www.katiedavis.org

Transcendental Surrender by Katie Davis - Katie Davis Blog - Awake by Katie Davis

The radical opportunity of our times is to recognize that the key to world transformation is an extraordinary power that lies deep within us here and now. The only remaining question is, what are we willing to surrender to allow wisdom's work?

Ramana Maharshi is one of world's most cherished sages of modern day India. He poetically wrote, "By thy grace alone my Heart lotus blossoms, O Arunachula. Then I will be immersed is the vastness of your bliss." Such unequivocal surrender is the flowering of basic goodness and gentle kindness in our lives. It is only when we realize that awake life is beyond "you" and greater than "me" that we begin beckoning transcendental surrender. And yet, this power lies within and it can only reveal itself when you are present.

Katie Davis Website www.katiedavis.org

"I am" Meditation by Katie Davis - Katie Davis Blog - AwakebyKatie Davis

This Sunday, someone askedif there was a practice that I could post that might allow one to be more deeply aware of the sense, "I am." Below is a meditation that might help. However first, it must be seen that the mental idea of a separate sense of self, the conceptual "i" or what I refer to as dreaming "i" is the only apparent obscuration. I say apparent, since when we curiously look within to discover where this thought is arising, it disappears into the still Heart. The true Heart that you are right now. Whenever we assume a practice, we are saying "I am not now" but "I will be in the future." Often, the pratitioner is the problem, so to speak. There is no ego "i" other than in the dual mind's idea of separation. You cannot be an object to your own Self. There are not two.

First and foremost, I suggest that if you are not already familar with Ramana Maharshi's Self Inquiry that you approach this inquiry with curiousity. Who are you? Where is this "i" pointing? You will find that it is not the body. Simply ask "Who am I" and listen intensely with every cell of your body. From where does this thought arise? That is who you really are.

The "I am" Meditation:

Initially, the Heart space is experienced in your chest. Sit in a comfortable chair with your spine erect, your feet on the floor, your eyes closed and your hands resting in your lap. Take a moment to attend the comfort of the body and let go of any tension to relax more deeply. With each breath, gently inhale the air through your nose and follow it into your lower abdomen. Let the abdomen expand. On the exhale, keep your attention in the center of your chest as you just let the air go in a relaxed manner, as the air leaves your mouth. With attention still in your chest, notice the inner silence at the end of each exhale. Breathing is relaxed and normal.

A. With your head straight forward, inhale and exhale ten times in the manner that was explained above.

B. Turn your head to the right over your shoulder to inhale. Then, turn your head to your left shoulder to exhale through your mouth. Still looking over your left shoulder, inhale through your nose and then turn your head over your right shoulder again to exhale. Each time, be aware of the silence at the end of each exhale. Repeat this series ten times.

C. With normal, relaxed breathing and your head straight forward, let the silent word "I" fill your chest as you inhale. As you exhale, sense the silent word "AM" in your Heart as you exhale. In the silence at the end of the exhale, sense the silent being in your chest. Repeat ten times.

D. Without the words "I am," repeat the same exercise ten times. At the end, take five minutes to appreciate the aliveness, the Pure Being, that is flooding your body.

This meditation is also posted in the Friends of the Heart Newsletter on the Katie Davis website.

Aware Consciousness by Katie Davis - Katie Davis Blog - AwakebyKatie

We are not an individual, separate sense of self who is being a mother, a friend, a professional. When we move beyond our name and form, we recognize that the unlimited Love and true fulfillment that we have been searching for is already here within ... unbound, unlimited, totally beyond belief. We are that which we see ... and all that we cannot see, we are the silent space that actually is beyond space and time. When we are consciously being, we become aware of this space consciousness and it allows us a deeper sense of Self. A sense of Self that excludes none and is all.

In fact, we are inseparable, not only from one another, but from this pure consciousness that we are truly are. We are peaceful and we recognize that our actions are arising from this intelligent space. We begin appreciating the art of Awake Living, which is unified and we have no more investment in resisting form and circumstances, since aware consciousness is virtually all there is.

And yes, of course, we then embody this Truth. Life seems to become fully integrate, which it always has been. We simply have not been focused on that which is totally free of content. When we identify with form, with our thoughts, with our emotions, with the primary thought "i," we suffer. That is not to deny anything. We simply are infinitely more.

Katie Davis Website www.katiedavis.org

Know that I am by Katie Davis - Katie Davis Blog - AwakebyKatie

The portal to know that "I am" is through the body. The physical form and its sensing are always now and a part of the present moment, so we can be attentive to our body's sensing or breathing to be more present to "I am" and therefore more free of the ego.

Being is living or we may call it consciousness. Consciousness is formlessness, as well as all form. We cannot deny that we are presently living. We just are not living "our" life, which is the ego's idea that leads to suffering. Dual in nature, dreaming "I" misperceives that it is separate from its non-dual Essence. "I am" is Pure Consciousness Being and it is inseparable from who you are. This Being is appearing as a myriad of forms, as it appears to be born into form and then appears to return to formlessness, all the while being consciousness.

Katie Davis Website www.katiedavis.org

Pure Being is Total Surrender by Katie Davis - Katie Davis Blog - AwakebyKatie

While the ego acquires, Pure Being is total surrender. When we are present to being, which is natural to living, we are sensing more deeply the life that we are. We therefore sense a joyful vitality. Doing still appears within the field of being of course however it is no longer at the forefront at a mental level. We appreciate the backdrop of the sense of "I am" through which all the forms of life appear and disappear. Form is thought, mental images that we may call memory, emotion, awakening energies, visions and powers, and the content of the present moment, including the body.

Thoughts come and go, while emotions rise and fall. Life experiences change and all the while, we are aware of the joyous being that is Life. Pure Being is the only permanent factor in all impermanent experience. When we do not attend the Essence of being, we are pulled into the mental realm and once again identify with form. In this, we suffer. When we consciously rest as being, we are free of form and appreciate the bliss of sacredness.

Katie Davis Website www.katiedavis.org