Author of "Free Spirit"
XO Writes:
Hello Sundance, Thank you kindly for satsang yesterday. I am feeling decidedly dissembled. That's good news.
This is what is lingering:
This could be called a watching game: awareness watches consciousness, which watches the mind, which watches the world. Self, Awareness, is steady, immutable, mountain-like, as you say. Awareness doesn't care what arises. And, for Awareness, nothing is happening.
There is just That, Sat-Chit-Ananda, and That is who ‘we’ really are, our essence. But it's not really that “we” are “One.” That's what “Non-dual” is pointing at. It's not two, and yet it's not one, either.
The mysterious paradox is, there is not One, because Awareness isn't an object. Perhaps it could be said, “there is nothing and everything.” Awareness, as the ultimate subject and then all else that appears to arise; body, mind, world are objects.
So, it's about letting go of control and attachment to everything, total surrender to what arises as it does, allowing all to be as it is. No mind, no suffering, no agenda, no initiating. Yet, clearly mind can be picked up and used for practical purposes. When an impulse for self-interest arises, catch it by noticing and turn back. There-in lies freedom.
Can you clarify what you meant when you said, “when you're asked, How are you feeling, if you go inside, you get lost.”
Does this mean “you,” Awareness? When you asked me this question, there was nowhere to land, no sense of feelings, even though there was alertness and presence. Not a sense of an individual “I,” more a non-localized experience of aware being. Is it a trick question in the sense that it reveals where identity is arising from? And the challenge of using pronouns and who is being referred to, you not as the body/mind, but as Awareness?
Eternal gratitude and deepest pranams,
Sundance replies:
Beloved, Awareness is all consuming, as it is real Being and not imaginary minding. To Awaring-Self, the concept, sense or identification of "I" is meaningless, as non-existent. “To Be” does not require self-consciousness, any more than you need to look in a mirror to confirm your sense of body. What we are conscious to is always the false, the imaginary non-existent. Only Knowing Is, even when nothing appears to be sensed.
All that gets lost is the non-essential, the "I" self-interest, the non-existing. We simply cannot give our allegiance to the "I thing," while forgetting who we are and get away with it. Rather, this union of attachment will appear to get away with truth by giving Self a name, shape and time. We were never meant to elevate our believing over our Being.
Let me be clear, I was pointing to SOLITUDE, ALONENESS. There is nothing but YOU, SELF. You merely hang yourself on the branch you are holding in mind, for there is no branch or anyone to hold it.
There is no true answer to the question, "how are you feeling," except silence. After all, the question is speaking of YOU Beloved before feeling.
On another occasion, XO shares a quote with Sundance:
"Events in time and space - birth and death, cause and effect - these may be taken as one; but the body and the embodied are not of the same order of reality. The body exists in time and space, transient and limited, while the dweller is timeless and spaceless, eternal and all-pervading. To identify the two is a grievous mistake and the cause of endless suffering. You can speak of the mind and body as one, but the body-mind is not the underlying reality."
~ Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
Sundance comments on this sharing:
Yes, all mind-bodies, all forms, all experiences of every order are sourced in the consciousness of Being …
and you are that consciousness, that ocean of ever-present awareness …
sometimes seen, sometimes not, life in calm waiting and potent expression, yet always awake, always being ...
the formless inspiration and the spiritual heart of our living dream.
Only the underlying reality of our nature as Awareness can set us free to be as we are...
fearless peace, loving expression without bounds or reason and so much more than words can convey.
You are the secret, the One you've been longing for.
You are within all time, all space; too close for discovery, too intimate to approach, too innocent to declare.
You are timeless. So, if you follow time, you move away.
You are nothing. So, if you seriously matter, you feel lost.
You are all presence, all power, all knowing,
In other words, All Loving.
Belief can never be the real You.
The impersonator is not the One.
You are an impossible act to follow, because you leave no trail at all.
Only the simple is truly profound,
so make no effort to be what you are...
Simply Be and Injoy
XO on the impact of Satsang:
Clearly, who I really am, is the awareness behind even consciousness. With residing there, comes a feeling of deep rest and peace. When you and I are in satsang though, this experience is so intense, a heightened sense of alertness, intimacy, great calm and detachment, almost disinterest in "things". What is that? Obviously an experience that comes and goes. Does this kind of experience emerge when two people are together and consciousness "recognizes" itself?
I notice I feel shy at first around you, uncertain about all of this, yet there's a fierce compelling quality to it. That dissolves once what seems like a shift occurs, maybe it's withdrawal from the perspective of a separate "me"? I so value your support and welcome any kind of guidance or suggestions of any kind.
Sundance replies:
Yes, I see and feel this in our Self-Presence. The blessings you speak of flow like a river, clear sailing unto Source. Surrendered as we are, we freely rest in the silence and stillness of our true depth. The miracle is that we know and the blessing of this knowing is our loving way.
Being true is intensely alive. This is satsang; fearless, desireless, All Loving presence. It is your true Being that is so compelling and beautiful.
The All Loving Heart is realized, once and for all in satsang. True living begins when dying ends and … even if the world could end … only the Awake would know.
The memory of body pain comes to satsang:
I'm noticing that when I allow it to be as it is, watching the pain come and go as the experience it is, there doesn't seem to be much suffering associated with it anymore.
Sundance on contemplating physical pain in the context of awakening:
It sounds as though your physical experience is serving to deepen your awareness of Self. This is not unusual in my experience. The path through this challenge is often easier for those who are already free of the belief that the Self is primarily a body. This I am certain you know. Nevertheless, we uniquely feel the impact of our hold and release from this human belief.
No one can really escape from the direct experience of our physical association. It seems the best option, when no other therapy is presently active and effective, is to continually abide in Self-Awareness, to be the witness beyond the symptoms.
All therapies hold potential for good, especially when acted upon from pure witnessing. If pain is present, what can one do but accept it, take action if it seems right and then allow everything to be as it happens.
Pain is clearly a call for attention, but attention to what and how to attend? I say, go to Self, pure consciousness and not just when we are hurting, but always. Let the message of pain become obsolete by its becoming unnecessary as a reminder. Easier said than done, but which of our lively efforts are truly worthy? This, we each answer by the quality of our presence regardless of circumstances; the body being one of these among many others.
It seems to me that each of us possess various forms of belief about healing and healers. Some of us strongly believe in medical doctors and science, others believe in holistic healers, shamans, energy healers, body workers, counselors, change of environment or behavior, etc. Still others intuitively combine the above. Our past human experience is a vast library in consciousness full of body ignorances and wisdoms.
A few of us question the entire experience of dis-ease. Is it real? Can I really be unhealthy? If I am the Self, can I really be suffering and subject to crippling and death? Does disease point to my true state of being or does pain appear for another purpose? What is pain if I am not opposing it? Can my being really be threatened? Is death to be feared, as a loss or diminishment of Self? Can I control my experience? Can I prevent what I do not want to experience from happening? If I act upon any belief in a fearful idea will it bring me freedom or dis-ease? If I am not in control, why worry? How will I know how I will act in any case, until it becomes my experience? What is my attitude of Self in all conditions? Do I have a permanently real attitude or am I searching for security and comfort, neither of which can endure in every condition?
There's no need for you to answer all of these questions, but they do seem to arise in consciousness in the midst of remembering or contemplating pain, aging, death, etc. My attitude is that only the Self determines my experience and the form of healing I choose is also Self-Will, no matter what it looks like. This is the only way I can be mySelf. I'll soon be in a dentist's chair contemplating Self as patient, dentist, assistant and all else in that moment of consciousness.
Surrender is the default attitude of witnessing, as the only condition worth your trust is... being aware.
Sundance Burke is author of "Free Spirit: A Guide to Enlightened Being"
Sundance Burke Website: www.SundanceBurke.org
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