Wednesday, October 12, 2011

What in the World Are You Seeking? by Katie Davis, Author, "Awake Joy"


In my seeking, I was glad to stumble onto your blog. You explain the truth with a lot of love. I know all there is to know on non-duality and often put it into practice, but I can't help feeling like I'm waiting for something, something more, enlightenment or the mind to turn off or the world to become brighter and light up. I am still seeking. How can I find the courage to just be? To end my seeking?


Thank you for this intelligent and focused question. You wrote, "I am still seeking." Please look directly right now, before answering these questions:

You are AWARE that you are still seeking, right? Is this not so? Now, look first ...

Does that awareness have any issue at all with the one who is seeking?

YOU are that awareness ... and not the one who is seeking ... the ego-I-body. Not that the body is excluded. It simply is a false identity. I am pointing solely to a shift in identity. Identity is not identification or attachment. When one identifies or attaches to a 'thing,' it requires a separate object; whereas true identity is pure. You simply are. When you identify with the body as false identity, you are identifying with an object.

So then, who is I? Who am I?

Perhaps, there is the realization that you are not the ego-I. Perfect ... then where is the mere word pointing? What is the I thought symbolizing? By analogy, let's day you wanted to banish the word "bread" from your vocabulary. Ok, fine and well. Would you then throw out the loaf of freshly baked, sourdough bread, without tasting it? Likewise, once we realize that we could not possibly be a mere thought, we are then invited to realize where the word is actually pointing. From whence does the I-thought arise? If the ego-I-body is not who you are, then who is I? Who are you?

The situation seems to be with many that once they realize that there is no ego, they begin seeking the object of enlightenment or seek the Heart objectively. We are not here to notice an object or even attain an object. We are here to realize who YOU are. Pure I is already here and readily accessible. This is why pure Self-inquiry is considered the Direct Approach.

Finally, wake up to ego's tactics and postponement strategies. The ego would have you believe that seeking some-thing in the future is the answer. Yes, of course, it would, since the ego needs time. Free of time, there is no ego here and now. The answer is to stop; just no longer be fooled by ego's becoming strategy. Compassionately see that the ego is more like a small child stamping its foot and crying for a toy it cannot find.  This discovery is not for the ego. It is in the absence of ego that we realize who we are. The ego can even be appreciated with the wisdom of understanding. Ego is adorable in its drama and harmless ... when seen as it is.

That said, resist nothing. Allow all to be as it is. But why continue attending it? Ego cannot be fixed. It would only become a better false self.

The most efficient means is to be who you are ... be the feeling sense of I-ness. Rest as I-ness. Pure identity is prior to the ego co-opting its identity.

Another possibility is to simply rest as "I am." I am not this. I am not that. "I am."

At first, it might seem that "I am" is the personal sense of being. In truth, it is pure beingness that is free of its objective identity ... the so called ego.

You asked what you can 'do.' There is no "doer." There no "seeker." Both are the ego dressed up and pretending to be spiritual ... the spiritual ego. Beloved, you are already the Ultimate Reality ... not a psychological self (ego) becoming something more (enlightened ego).

You mentioned "waiting." Until Self-realization, a sense of waiting does seem to prevail. No waiting and nothing to wait for. Enjoy the waiting place. If I could humbly suggest however that once it has been seen how compulsive, programmed and insane most of those thought forms are why continue to tend them? It is true that you are less apt to identify (attach) to them if you are watching and the thought stream does slow in the observing, however once it has been noticed how the ego structure operates and how it changes the emotional states, let the thoughts flow by like autumn leaves on the surface of a river as they float downstream and disappear.

The thought stream is mostly dull and boring anyway. Thoughts are mostly repetitive and all in reference to the ego. Ego needs those thoughts to give the impression that it is real. That becomes the ego's story and it (ego) is the storyteller. Where is the story without the storyteller?

Right now, stop for a moment. Close your eyes from the computer screen. Take a moment to relax and watch your breathing. Can you sense how beautiful the air feels as it gently comes in and out the nose? Go ahead.

Try it again for a moment. Close the eyes, conscious breathing ... are there any thoughts? No ... thought needs time. Conscious breathing points to timeless presence.

For those readers who are just becoming curious about awakening, I point to the body as the perfect tool to wake up out of time. The body is always now, so it is a natural tool for being timelessly present. Being aware of the body's sensing (or breathing), the attention shifts out of the head and into the body. The body and its inner space is the only entry into the formless reality that is our essence.

You are that which you are seeking. Any movement/effort/doership is a movement away and that is exactly what the ego wants.

To summarize:

1. Stop

2. Conscious breathing/sensing

3. Rest as the feeling of I-ness or as "I am."

Now the ego asks, "Yes, but isn't there something MORE I can do?"

Love and gratitude for the inquiry, sweetheart.


Thank you so much for your detailed answer. I can see you move to help those around with great enthusiasm. Mistaken identity ... I'll remember that next time the thoughts say, "this is not enough.' I will refer back to these words of wisdom again and again. Thanks for taking the time to post.

Love and gratitude.

Katie Davis Website

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